You're being watched!

There is someone watching you!  I'm serious!  They have been watching you for years and you don't even know it.  They know when you go to bed, what you watch on tv, where you sleep and what you eat.  They can very easily steal your credit card number, your car, your jewelry...or your heart. 

I'm talking about...
your children.

I realized I was being watched a little over a year ago.  I had given birth to our 3rd (and last!) child and  I had gained a LOT of weight.  A few months after baby Kyle was born, I was shocked (ok, not really shocked) to learn that I was at my highest non-pregnant weight ever.     My doctor looked at me (again) and said (again) "you know you need to lose some weight".  To which I replied (again) "yes, I know." 

A few weeks later, I joined Weight Watchers.  It seemed like a plan I could follow. I don't mind measuring and counting and it was certainly a better alternative to major bariatric surgery.  This is also when I began to notice that I had a stalker who watched my every move - my 7 year old daughter.

She would ask me what I was doing.  She asked if she could help in the kitchen.  She read my WW books and let me know when a certain food had too many PointsPlus.  I was happy she was interested and thought maybe the good thing I had done for my own life might also have a positive impact on hers.  I was losing weight while simultaneously being a FABULOUS mom!   I was in awe of my own greatness!

Then it occurred to me - she didn't just start watching me; she has been watching me all along.  She sees how much time I spend on Facebook, what shows I record on the DVR (that she is not allowed to watch), what I wear to drive her to school - and when I "sneak" a 2nd cupcake, she sees it and she wants one too.   What am I teaching her about mental and physical health?

My 9 year old son has been watching me too.   He sees me with one hand on the steering wheel while the other is on my cell phone.  He sees me speeding on the interstate and running yellow (ok, red) lights in town.  And on a deeper level, he is forming his first thoughts and opinions about women by watching what I'm doing.  When I spend money we don't have on things we don't need, when I leave the house and I'm looking barely presentable because I was too lazy to "fix" myself that day - he could be processing these things as acceptable female attributes.  What kind of wife is he going to seek based on what he is learning from me?

Am I setting a good enough example for my children?

It is important to me that I "train" my children to be positive, productive members of society.  I want them to be healthy, happy and self-confident.  I want what we all want when we have children - for things to be better and easier for them than they were for us.  After being stalked by the little buggers, I'm realizing that I can't just want these things - I have to manifest them.  I have to live a good life so that they can see what a good life looks like!    

One of my movie heroes, Yoda (of Star Wars fame), says "TRY not.  DO. Or do not.  There is no try."   Yoda is a genius.  He is also a fictional and very powerful Jedi master, which I, sadly, am not. So I try. Each day I try.  I try to eat healthier, spend smarter, drive safer and live better.  I fail at times - I still shop, I still talk on the phone while driving, and I fail frequently at eating healthier, especially if there are tortilla chips and margaritas involved (the villains!).  The point is - I'm aware that I'm being watched.  I know they are tracking me and God help me, I'm going to put on a better show for my little stalkers from now on.